It's my
belief that to an extent I am the least qualified person on the
planet to write in any detail about myself. Especially as a teenager,
caught in that nether-region between the safe familiarity of
childhood and the promise and mystery of what is to come. That
doesn't help at all with my sense of Identity, this wiggly, slimy
little fish that I'm trying to grab with my bare hands, one that I roll my pants up
and wade into murky waters attempting to catch time
and time again without much success. Besides the simple fact that the
way I think of myself is almost certainly not the way you think of
and/or will think of me (all three of you readers). But Ranger, the
bossy-face he is, said to introduce myself. And I shall do my best.
First
and foremost, I'm a Christian. I'm still unsure about a lot of
things, but I'm trying to understand more and more about what exactly
that means over time. Luckily for me, I have great friends who are
wonderfully strong believers and they inspire me to grow in my faith
more than any preacher could. Shout-out, yo.
I guess
the main thing about me other than that is that I like to create
things. When I write, or I draw, I produce something with my consciousness with which to say “this is who I am,” other
than myself in my body trying to talk to you or make a positive
impression. These things that I create are more expressive of myself
than I am in the flesh, in a sense.
I can't
be happy unless I have a way to pour out this excess
existence into something
else, and this often involves pencil and paper, whether I'm
attempting art or trying to put words down in a semi-coherent way.
The
reality of my situation, however, is that the stories I hold inside
of me get warped and damaged on their difficult Odyssey from brain to
the clickity-click of fingertips on a keyboard. It's like trying to
roll a great big paper mache boulder down a mountain without it getting destroyed (or becoming disfigured beyond recognition). But I write to remember these
stories, and I write because as guarded as I am sometimes, I really
do want other people to see them. Someday I hope to be able to
actually untangle this mess of thoughts to show as I have seen
in the warm, cozy, and sometimes-lethal darkness of the viewing
room in my mind. The projector flickers and sputters, but I crouch in
front of it with my pencil and pad, scribbling things down as best
I can.
(...I
draw though because I like to look at fanart pictures of my favorite
characters. I have only recently taken up this hobby. Not quite so
pretentious and brooding. x3 Sorry, writers just get that way. When
God was handing out the traits, he knocked over the big
Bucket-O'-Angst into our souls. We can't help it. Resistance to its
sway is futile.)
Some Random and Mostly Useless Facts:
-The BBC
ruined my life.
-I'm a
lucky lucky ducky in that I have some fantastic friends, including in
cliché homeschool-ness, my brother. Not that I don't love my four
others, but we've been the David and Elizabeth Show since we were
very little. So that's fun.
-I play
piano, and I like to squeeze in learning modern arrangements of songs
between Mozart pieces like a little Pilgrim girl sneaking sweets
before dinner. Both my strictly-classical teacher and my mom dislike
the “franticness” of the style I enjoy. But hey. Beats the dull,
clangy plinking I perform for the other Pilgrim children and their
parents at recitals.
-I also
do tae kwan do and 4-H shooting sports, both of which are activities
I admire from a safe distance but are terrifying and difficult once
you're actually involved in them. The majority of the energy I devote
to these things is fantasizing about being much better at them than I
currently am.
-I smell
books, and I adore the smooth blackness of ink, and I fell in love
with words a long time ago.
-I enjoy
anime and the celebration of Japanese culture. I dunno man. Something
about it fascinates me. Besides the fact that a lot of anime I see
seems extraordinarily frivolous and silly at first, but they open up
into these massive hidden caves of stories with all kinds of twists
and unexpected depth. The art style is really pleasing to my eyes as
well, and it's something I hope to get better at replicating with my
own pencil over time.
-I like to climb trees, ride roller coasters, and do anything that takes me to great heights and gives my adrenaline a boost.
tl;dr
I guess
I'm just a derp with an internet and too much time to think. That's
the way I view myself in a nutshell.
If you
theoretically wanted to find me elsewhere, I live at these webbernet
locations:
thejabberwocksden.tumblr.com
(in which I reblog)
thejabberwocksden.blogspot.com
(in which I blog, or have in the past, as I have been very neglectful
of it)
Hope to see you around, metaphorically speaking in that internet sort of way.
-Elizabeth
No comments:
Post a Comment